Friends With Benefits Series: Part 1

I was going to write a blog about friends with benefits, until I realized, I've already done so.

In a prior journalism class, I wrote a story on friends with benefits. It's short and to the point.

This will be the opening to my "friends with benefits" series.

UrbanDictionary.com defines it as “the best kind of friendship out there” and “two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved.” “Friends with benefits” (f.w.b) are sweeping college campuses across the nation. Casual sex is the new black; in a recent study on college students, two-thirds said they had been in an f.w.b. relationship. While the convenience of sex being a phone call and a dorm away might sound appealing, it doesn’t reap all the benefits.

So you get two friends in a room together who share at least a mild attraction and are comfortable with each other. They agree on a no-strings attached, sexual relationship. What could possibly go wrong?

The only recipe that doesn’t stir up disaster is if the two people involved can keep from becoming emotionally attached, which is virtually impossible since there’s already an established relationship. In fact, 65.3% of students who have an f.w.b. said the biggest disadvantage is that feelings could develop.

In most cases, it’s the women who want more than friends and the men who are simply seeking the benefits. Women fail miserably when it comes to keeping the physical and emotional two separate entities. The girl is more likely to get jealous when the guy is out getting a piece from the chick at the bar. She’ll be the one texting him asking where he’s at and who he’s with constantly. He’ll become fed up and know all the right things to say to get under her skin such as, “maybe this sex thing is a bad idea,” and “stop acting like a jealous girlfriend.”

The girl will put up with the sucky scenario for a number of reasons. Women outnumber men on college campuses and it’s more difficult for them to find potential mates. Fear of rejection also forces women to withhold their feelings inside. Admitting feelings that aren’t being reciprocated can also lead to awkwardness and many women just don’t find it worth the risk.

With that aside, let’s say neither one of you experience the emotional rollercoaster of falling for the friend (which trust me, isn’t likely), are hook-ups outside of the f.w.b. zone permitted? 73.3 percent involved admit to not having prior discussions for a set of ground-rules. Rules complicate things mainly because they are a form of commitment and aren’t easy to agree upon. Even with rules, there’s a good chance things will get messy.

So how do you prevent the mess? Make sure you can handle having a sexual relationship with a friend without emotions getting in the way. Try to be honest with each other, and if things get too hot and heavy, get out. It might be called friends with benefits but all good things come to an end and sometimes you have to throw in the towel before you lose not only the benefits but the friend as well.

Dudes want sex, chicks want relationships?

True. Very much so.

But also, quite false.

Why can't both genders want both? They can.

One comedian, Stephen Fry is being criticized by feminists for saying that women will only engage in sexual activities because, "sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship."

Here's the full story.

Anyway, I have a question, is he right?

Studies show that many women enter friends with benefits (fwb) relationships because they are hoping it will turn into something more. Meanwhile, men simply seek the benefits.

What do you think?

My next post will be on fwb, btw.

Prof. talk about sex, baby...

A Journalism professor at the University of Tampa stresses the importance of sex columns in college newspapers.

To find that he wrote a book on these student writings is refreshing.
In this short Q&A with USA Today, he answers a few questions regarding the columns and how they affect others.

My favorite part of the interview:

Q: What conclusions can we draw about students' sex lives from these columns?

A: These are wonderful sociological treasures in defining this sexual generation. The quote I love most is, "We're not Baby Boomers. We're not part of Generation X. We're generation sex." They're speaking to students in their own language. They cover every extreme possible but primarily grapple with how confusing the current social, sexual landscape is on campus. The general sentiment seems to be that all rules have been thrown out the window. Chivalry is gone, dating is passé, gender roles reversed. There's no blueprint for how students are supposed to act with each other. The columnists are asking, "Is this really good for us?"

To read more, you know what to do... click!

What do you mean I had sex with 4095 people?!?

This chart used to gross me out in middle school.
And then I thought, "How stupid, I'd be exposed to 4095 people if I slept with 12?"

I distinctly remember looking at this poster with one of my friends who responded, "That's what showers are for."

Looking back on this now all I can think is, "Girl, there's not enough soap in the world to wash away an STD."

Once it's there, it's there. I'm not trying to scare people from having sex. Who would I to tell you not to do it?

I'm just saying, safety should always be on your mind.

Here's an enlarged... chart. Perv.

20 preggers freshmen?!

One pissed off dad decided to write a letter to the editor about high schools inadequately teaching kids about safe sex.

I believe he comes to that conclusion with valid points. With this said, I'm going to google around a bit and see how some schools teach about safe sex.

I know, while it is required, we didn't get much at my alma mater. Oh well.

Anyways, here's the link.

Are you married and sleep alone?

Well, if you are, it's more normal than you think. Here are a few facts (or stats) about sex:

It doesn't matter how high your expectations are ladies and gents, the average male penis size is: 5-7 inches long and 4-6 inches circumference


How long should you wait? While you should wait until YOU'RE READY, the average male loses his virginity at 16.9 years old... as for the ladies.. a little older at 17.4 years. This doesn't change the fact that females still have the older maturity level! ;)

12% of married adults sleep alone.. Yes, I am serious.


Is not having the big O normal? 75% of men always reach orgasm; women are shafted (no pun intended), as only about 29% of women report reaching orgasm.

How many people can you sleep with and still not be considered a slut? I have no idea. The average man aged 20-59 has slept with 7 different partners. Women in the same age bracket have slept with 4 on average.

These statistics show, sometimes it's okay to just be average! :)

Survey says...

Having oral sex leads to more teens having intercourse sooner.
Well, that makes sense!

However, a three-year study has been conducted to prove this theory.

The study states that teens who have oral sex in high school are more likely to have intercourse at a quicker rate.

4 in 10 teens age 15-19 have had sex at least once.

So, there you have it. For more details on the study, click here!