Friends With Benefits Series: Part 1

I was going to write a blog about friends with benefits, until I realized, I've already done so.

In a prior journalism class, I wrote a story on friends with benefits. It's short and to the point.

This will be the opening to my "friends with benefits" series.

UrbanDictionary.com defines it as “the best kind of friendship out there” and “two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved.” “Friends with benefits” (f.w.b) are sweeping college campuses across the nation. Casual sex is the new black; in a recent study on college students, two-thirds said they had been in an f.w.b. relationship. While the convenience of sex being a phone call and a dorm away might sound appealing, it doesn’t reap all the benefits.

So you get two friends in a room together who share at least a mild attraction and are comfortable with each other. They agree on a no-strings attached, sexual relationship. What could possibly go wrong?

The only recipe that doesn’t stir up disaster is if the two people involved can keep from becoming emotionally attached, which is virtually impossible since there’s already an established relationship. In fact, 65.3% of students who have an f.w.b. said the biggest disadvantage is that feelings could develop.

In most cases, it’s the women who want more than friends and the men who are simply seeking the benefits. Women fail miserably when it comes to keeping the physical and emotional two separate entities. The girl is more likely to get jealous when the guy is out getting a piece from the chick at the bar. She’ll be the one texting him asking where he’s at and who he’s with constantly. He’ll become fed up and know all the right things to say to get under her skin such as, “maybe this sex thing is a bad idea,” and “stop acting like a jealous girlfriend.”

The girl will put up with the sucky scenario for a number of reasons. Women outnumber men on college campuses and it’s more difficult for them to find potential mates. Fear of rejection also forces women to withhold their feelings inside. Admitting feelings that aren’t being reciprocated can also lead to awkwardness and many women just don’t find it worth the risk.

With that aside, let’s say neither one of you experience the emotional rollercoaster of falling for the friend (which trust me, isn’t likely), are hook-ups outside of the f.w.b. zone permitted? 73.3 percent involved admit to not having prior discussions for a set of ground-rules. Rules complicate things mainly because they are a form of commitment and aren’t easy to agree upon. Even with rules, there’s a good chance things will get messy.

So how do you prevent the mess? Make sure you can handle having a sexual relationship with a friend without emotions getting in the way. Try to be honest with each other, and if things get too hot and heavy, get out. It might be called friends with benefits but all good things come to an end and sometimes you have to throw in the towel before you lose not only the benefits but the friend as well.